WTF is ‘Cyber’ Insurance?

For starters it’s a really stupid name. It sounds like something from a 1960’s movie – ‘Attack of the Killer Corndog’s’ or ‘The Aardvark Cyber Incident’ but it’s a name, a title, something for the marketing people to TELL YOU THAT YOU NEED – RIGHT NOW!

So do you need it? Probably. Because a) you can never have too much insurance (!)  and b) you’re reading this on a computer which means you’re logged on a satellite which is probably tracking you at this precise moment and about to (a’la Sandra Bullock in The Net or Will Smith in Enemy of the State) erase you from history.

Fearmongering apart – why on earth spend even more money on insurance? I mean, what is an insurance company going to do? Write you a blank cheque?


A decent Cyber Insurance policy is there to hold your hand… Ahhhh, how sweet… Except imagine the guy holding your hand is a cross between the toughest creations either DC or Marvel Comics could dream up.

The policy will pay for Forensic Service Providers (Super Geeks) who are there to work out the technical details and go hunting for a cure, and at the same time keep your business alive.

The policy will pay for Privacy Lawyers (Super Suits) who are there to do all the legal stuff you will have no idea that you’ve got to deal with until the sh*t hits the fan.

The policy will deal with any fines and penalties that you get hit with.

The policy will deal with loss of your profits whilst your systems are dead in the water.

The policy will deal with the ‘bad guys’ blackmailing to take vast sums of money off you to bring your systems back online.

Just imagine Monday morning… You’ve had a super weekend, then you’ve had a lousy trip to work and are trying to think why you didn’t retire on Friday, and then, joy of joys, you turn your computer on and… And… AND???? Nothing.

Bye bye client data, bye bye website, bye bye accounts…

  • Option 1 – go home and invent a working flux capacitor. Then buy a DeLorean. And retire last Friday.
  • Option 2 – call your insurance broker; say HELP & your cyber insurance policy kicks in. Relax.

So that’s why you buy Cyber Insurance.

Dead easy.

Oh… and not all Cyber insurance policies are the same.  Some in fact are downright cr*p.

So how do you pick the right one? Just ask how many cyber claims the insurer concerned has dealt with… Oh… and ask the broker if they have purchased cyber insurance themselves and if so, how much cover did they buy and who’s it with… That’ll tell you an awful lot…

Have a nice day… Assuming you’re still online and not being hackexasdfdcccc4@OI*(&YTV

This entry was posted in Blog. Bookmark the permalink.